Tomorrow April 24th is my handicap pet squirrel Winkelhimer’s birthday,or at least the birthday of me finding her.As some of you may not know she paints and gives all the profits to charity. You can visit her website here www.paintingsquirrel.com and she is also on most social media under @winkelhimer.
If you or your brood would like to send Wink a birthday card her addy is
Po Box 201073
I have a wall next to her bed where I put things folks send her like cards,letters and even drawings kids send to her
I’m not being dark and foreboding here or morbid.I’m simply describing my viewpoint.Lavey once said that even as a youngster he was always keenly aware of his own mortality.That was one of the first times I had ever seen somebody describe so perfectly what I have always felt.I don’t know if it’s just a only child thing,I have never felt youthful or the thrill of being a teenager,the bubbly exuberance of youth.I also never had the I will never get hurt or I will never die because I’m young attitude.All the crazy and dangerous things I do I always know I could be horribly hurt or even die. It’s not that I don’t think I could die,it’s that I’m not afraid if I do.I’m even flabbergasted that I have made it to 34 and sometimes I wonder if I should have allowed myself to get this far.People ask me in interviews “where do you see yourself in 10 years”,and I try and skirt the issue because I never see myself that far ahead.And at 34 I feel like I have lived at least 3 or 4 lifetimes.And I have never had a extreme amount of difficulties in my life,just my normal share.The reason I even get out of bed everyday is more from a sense of responsibility or duty.I have a responsibility to my mother,to Jim and to my pets and even to some extent to my art to be here.If I didn’t have that I don’t know,I really don’t know.And I don’t want people to freak out and worry about me because I’m not talking about being suicidal or being morbid ect.I’m just simply keenly aware of the fact life is very very perishable,which makes it painful to be on earth because that means those you love will be gone in the blink of a eye.In some ways it’s good because when you can’t see yourself 3 months for now,it makes you get off your butt and get things done.Without that feeling that I have no time I wouldn’t have accomplished 30% of what I have been lucky enough to do and experience.
I really have a love/hate relationship with depression and anxiety.On one hand it helps to me make and do some wonderful things.Which I know sounds strange but I think if you have any kind of mental illness it’s energy you can tap into to like a lighting rod.On the other hand it’s a tormenting thing to deal with.And I hate the constant struggle that goes with it.It’s also a little overwhelming that in some of of us it never gets easier or better the older you get.It also gives you a crushing sense of empathy which is also a double edge sword.I think allot of artist are natural empaths and make great art because of it,but it also makes you feel like every molecule of your being is being scratched with sandpaper.It’s a bit like trying to tread water for the rest of your life and hopefully you don’t go under,or if you do it’s only for a split second.Even small things seem like a impossible struggle when getting out of the bed in the morning.
Thanks to you kind folks buying my art I was able to help a few folks last month.
I gave to https://amplifyatx.ilivehereigivehere.org/ for their fund for the SXSW crash victims.
And also I found a new animal rescue to donate to.A fellow bought one of my originals so squirrel mommy asked if he…