I’m not being dark and foreboding here or morbid.I’m simply describing my viewpoint.Lavey once said that even as a youngster he was always keenly aware of his own mortality.That was one of the first times I had ever seen somebody describe so perfectly what I have always felt.I don’t know if it’s just a only child thing,I have never felt youthful or the thrill of being a teenager,the bubbly exuberance of youth.I also never had the I will never get hurt or I will never die because I’m young attitude.All the crazy and dangerous things I do I always know I could be horribly hurt or even die. It’s not that I don’t think I could die,it’s that I’m not afraid if I do.I’m even flabbergasted that I have made it to 34 and sometimes I wonder if I should have allowed myself to get this far.People ask me in interviews “where do you see yourself in 10 years”,and I try and skirt the issue because I never see myself that far ahead.And at 34 I feel like I have lived at least 3 or 4 lifetimes.And I have never had a extreme amount of difficulties in my life,just my normal share.The reason I even get out of bed everyday is more from a sense of responsibility or duty.I have a responsibility to my mother,to Jim and to my pets and even to some extent to my art to be here.If I didn’t have that I don’t know,I really don’t know.And I don’t want people to freak out and worry about me because I’m not talking about being suicidal or being morbid ect.I’m just simply keenly aware of the fact life is very very perishable,which makes it painful to be on earth because that means those you love will be gone in the blink of a eye.In some ways it’s good because when you can’t see yourself 3 months for now,it makes you get off your butt and get things done.Without that feeling that I have no time I wouldn’t have accomplished 30% of what I have been lucky enough to do and experience.
I really have a love/hate relationship with depression and anxiety.On one hand it helps to me make and do some wonderful things.Which I know sounds strange but I think if you have any kind of mental illness it’s energy you can tap into to like a lighting rod.On the other hand it’s a tormenting thing to deal with.And I hate the constant struggle that goes with it.It’s also a little overwhelming that in some of of us it never gets easier or better the older you get.It also gives you a crushing sense of empathy which is also a double edge sword.I think allot of artist are natural empaths and make great art because of it,but it also makes you feel like every molecule of your being is being scratched with sandpaper.It’s a bit like trying to tread water for the rest of your life and hopefully you don’t go under,or if you do it’s only for a split second.Even small things seem like a impossible struggle when getting out of the bed in the morning.
Thanks to you kind folks buying my art I was able to help a few folks last month.
I gave to https://amplifyatx.ilivehereigivehere.org/ for their fund for the SXSW crash victims.
And also I found a new animal rescue to donate to.A fellow bought one of my originals so squirrel mommy asked if he…
As allot of folks know like allot of Louisiana people I practice Voodoo.It seems even in this day and age people still think of Voodoo and Santeria as “evil” or “satanic” practices .This is all kinds of wrong.One of the perfect examples of that is the concept of “Iwa-Pele” aka good character.It sort of the Voodoo or Santeria version of the Golden Rule.We believe that one’s Motivation should be to obtain Iwa-Pele,everything you do or do to others should help you build “Iwa-Pele” aka good character.I hope this clears things up for allot of people.
From the website: http://www.assatashakur.org/forum/traditional/135-iwa-pele-gentle-character.html
IWA - PELE
.. .. .. .. ..
Odu IFA (the Holy African scripture of the Yoruba) SAYS:
Perform truthfulness, perform righteousness,
Perform kindness, avoid wickedness,
Perform the truth, perform righteousness;
Is the one that IMALE supports.
Who is IMALE except OLODUMARE (GOD).
In Eji Ogbe
I behave as my GOD creates me.
I do good always, I am honest, too.
I do no evil,
Neither do I harbor evil thoughts;
L’est I die wretched.
This is because
Whatever we initiate in our youth
Will persist ‘til old age.
These are the declarations of the Oracle for
ORUNMILA and the 401 IRUNMOLE,
When coming from Heaven to the earth.
OLODUMARE instructed them to do good always.
Only ORUNMILA applied honesty of thought
To overturn all evil machinations.
Ase Ase Ase
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT…
The Ancestors connect us to the spirit realm and interceed in our behalf. They guide us through our journey. Because of our Ancestors, many of us have been given a second and third chances to fulfill our destiny. Because of our Ancestors, many of us survive.
The development of IWA PELE (good character) will allow us to, one day, become Ancestors, who can interceed on behalf of those who come after us.
“You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition’s given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you’ve tried so desperately to shed: pure West Virginia. What is your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the boys found you… all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars… while you could only dream of getting out… getting anywhere… getting all the way to the FBI.”—Hannibal Lecter……….